I have a confession to make. I have been counting down the weeks until Christmas break for oh I don’t know, about 4 months or so. I know that seems a bit obsessive but its been a bit of a crazy year and my body has been yearning for a nice long break. It’s been counting down with me. 12 weeks to go. 8 weeks to go. 7. 6. Then it got to about 4 weeks and it decided it just couldn’t keep waiting for the holidays and so it decided to force me to stop. Not just force me but slap me right across the face and scream at me “why haven’t you been paying attention to the not so subtle signs I have been giving you?”. And what a wonderful question and an even better point. I had absolutely no comeback.
The truth is my body had given me plenty of signs that I was pushing (and being pushed) too hard. It seemed that the harder I worked, the more work came my way. And so did various ailments. It starts with the good old neck and shoulder tension. And when you pay absolutely no attention to that, a nice little package of throat infections and colds comes. But the trooper I thought I was, I kept pushing on. The workload wasn’t getting any smaller and the expectations were ever-growing. Mine as well as others. And with every new stress, I popped a new vitamin, ate even healthier and went to a yoga class. I thought I was doing everything right. Until my body and mind told me otherwise. As per my last post, they basically boycotted me. Seriously, they staged a protest and for every push to complete just one more task, they crumbled even further.
All of sudden I was no longer the Superwoman I thought myself to be. Instead I was a crying mess. Apparently that is how my body and mind like to get my attention. Rather than letting me speak, they would just launch a flood of tears instead. Kind of inconvenient when you are trying to communicate with people without looking like a complete basket case. Or just generally trying to look like a normal functioning human being. But the truth of the matter is I wasn’t a normal functioning human being. I was unwell. I had pushed myself and had been pushed past my limits. Way past my limits. As a matter a fact I think I recall seeing the you’ve passed your limit sign about 12 months ago or so.
So what he heck kept me going for another 12 months? Oh well my friends that in itself was a huge revelation to me too. I realised all the great things I was doing like meditation, yoga, healthy eating and my beautiful blog were topping me up, temporarily sustaining me. But nothing in this world can sustain you if you keep pushing harder and harder. It’s a bit like rolling in the mud, having a shower and than rolling in the mud expecting not to get dirty again because you had a shower. The shower will only keep you clean for so long.
Meditation, yoga and everything else in between will help you immensely with a peace of mind for as long as there is balance. If there is no balance, there is no peace of mind. If you keep going back to the source of stress, then stress is what you will get, no matter how hard you tried to de-stress the night before. That was and is a huge lesson to me. And I write this post in hope that it becomes a lesson for you too.
We all have moments when we are pushed harder than we can cope, and it is in those moments that it is important that we keep tabs on our wellbeing. Take a temperature check of how we are going. I know deadlines are important, but so is our health because without it there is only one deadline that we need to concern ourselves with. I don’t know about you, but I plan on not meeting that deadline for a while yet. Jobs, excessive parties or whatever your drug of choice for stress is, will come and go but our health will give us only so many reminders that its being neglected. Make it your priority that you see to it, because nothing else really matters. Truly.