I have finally done something which I have been petrified of since the day I started writing this blog. 18 months ago I have avoided it yet something in me kept yearning to do it. Calling my name softly from the distance whilst I ran further in the opposite direction. Afraid that if I did it I would be judged. That it wouldn’t be good enough or spiritual enough for you to connect to.
I am talking about shooting a vlog.
Last few months I have found myself in a challenging situation with a particular person that has become my greatest teacher of my own vulnerability and attachment to past fears and pains.
Over the years vulnerability was never my strong point (who’s is!?) and yet this person unexpectedly triggered the very core of it. It stumped me as much as it unravelled me. I tried to fight it at first as much as I could however a small voice in me softly whispered “Let go sister, this is a place and time for you to heal what you are yet to discover is broken.” And so I did. I released my rather strong grip on control and allowed myself to walk into a situation that I knew was about to bring a whole lotta’ challenges. And boy did it ever!!
Eight years ago I slipped a disc in my back that required me to spend a few weeks incapable of much movement and therefore bound to my bed with a lot of time on my hands to contemplate my very existence and review the direction in which my life was going. It was also the time that set me on a path on which I find myself today and is the reason for my spiritual awakening.
It has been nearly two months since I have written my last blog post. It has been two months since I have sat down nearly every day with my laptop in hand ready to write yet no words came. A thousand stories have been swirling in my mind, busting to jump out on the page and yet when my fingers hit the keyboard, I couldn’t find the words to type. My emotions seemed to had blocked the flow of story telling that I have grown accustomed to and instead pushed me in the direction of dealing with life that was happening all around me.